


When you're near me I have difficulty

by astralplanewife



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 07:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14232411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralplanewife/pseuds/astralplanewife
Summary: What would it take for Bismuth's short re-visit to the Crystal Gems to end in a different way?





	When you're near me I have difficulty

**Author's Note:**

> here's my short and cheesy Bismuth/Pearl fanfic! It's what COULD HAVE(in my mind) taken place during Bismuth's episode in regards to Bismuth/Pearl interaction, and with a different ending than canon! my headcanon is that Bismuth is actually a HUGE DOOF when it comes to actual romance with an actual girl(and not just joking), so that's how i wrote her in this fanfic! not sure if that's what crewniverse intended, but it was fun to write! pls bear in mind that i am a novice fanfic writer so constructive criticism is welcome!
> 
> beta:d by @reaperduckling

Pearl was so happy that Bismuth was back from the presumed dead. Feelings that she hadn’t felt for a very long time reawakened too., like how whenever Bismuth laughed she felt fuzzy on the insides. Or how she’d take any opportunity to pick Pearl up from the ground and hug her. Physical affection felt really, really good when it was her.

 

-*-

 

”Hey Pearl, I got to show you something” Bismuth took Pearl’s hand. ”Cover your eyes!”

”Oh, all right! What is it?” Pearl covered her eyes with one hand and let Bismuth lead her out of the house by the other.

”Oh yeah, there are stairs here… I’ll carry you! Keep your eyes closed though!” Pearl felt Bismuth scoop her up with her caring arms. She made sure to keep her eyes closed and covered, as to not accidentally ruin Bismuth’s surprise. Bismuth put her carefully down on what felt like the sandy beach.

”You can look now!”

Pearl uncovered her eyes, and on the beach, she saw a life-sized glass sculpture of what looked like… Pearl herself?

”Oh, Bismuth, it’s lovely! I adore it!” Pearl looked closer at the craftsmanship of the statue. ”It’s masterfully made!”

”Oh, hush now Pearl, you’re making me blush-muth!” Bismuth joked. It was not the best of Bismuth’s puns, but Pearl laughed anyway. She walked closer to Bismuth and went in for a hug.

”I really, really like it. Thank you.”

”Well, you know, remember that I’ve always said that if it weren’t for Rose, maybe you and I would be a couple” Bismuth laughed.

Pearl did not know what to say to that. But she answered anyway: ”Well…. Rose and I ended things long ago before she di…. Eh. I was really sad about it for a long time, but I finally feel at peace with myself now.”

Bismuth coughed loudly and quickly turned away from her. ”HUH!” She bellowed.

”Well, I gotta go, gotta see if Garnet wants to spar or something. See ya!” She quickly ran in the opposite direction.

”Wait, Bismuth, Garnet is in the house! We were just there! You’re running the wrong way!” Pearl cried after her, but Bismuth didn’t seem to hear her. Well, that was strange…

 

-*-

 

Later that day as Pearl was doing the dishes, Bismuth burst through the screen door.

”HeyPearlIwasactuallylookingforGarnetI’lljustgo….”

”You mean you didn’t find her running around on the beach?” Pearl asked, only teasing slightly.

Bismuth looked like a deer caught in headlights for a second, but then seemed to relax(even if she looked like she was sweating profusely).

”Yea, we-weirdly enough I couldn’t find her, maybe I should go out looking again! Ha-ha! Good talk, Pearl!” Bismuth turned around(while doing finger guns) and tried to walk out the door, but walked straight into it instead.

”Bismuth! Are you ok?” Pearl came to her side instantly. She took Bismuth’s hand, trying to calm her down.

”UuuuuUUUUUUH PEARL, I REALLY GOTTA TALK TO GARNET, GOTTA GO SEEYA LATER BYE!” Bismuth got up faster than lightning, walked into(again) the door, and then straight through the door(literally), leaving a Bismuth-shaped hole in it.

This was getting really weird. This nervous behavior was really out of character for Bismuth, who usually was so self-confident and boisterous! Pearl was getting anxious, she could feel it, maybe she had said something wrong again?

 

-*-

 

Even later that day, Pearl was just going out for some fresh air as she spotted Bismuth and Garnet talking to each other in hushed voices on the beach. Oh no, whatever Pearl had done, Bismuth was now telling Garnet! This is could be really bad, this could turn into a fight, they were gonna be ma-Pearl breathed in deeply. She took a moment, just breathing deeply. In through the nose, and exhale through the mouth, right? It was gonna be ok.

”Heeeey, Pearl!” Garnet yelled. She patted Bismuth on the shoulder mechanically.

”Bismuth, good luck. I’ll….. leave you two alone. Goodbye.” She walked very briskly into the house and slammed what was left of the door. Bismuth looked just as distressed as Pearl had felt a second ago.

”Hey, Bismuth…” Pearl began. ”Did I.. did I do something wrong? You’ve been acting really weird today… As I said I absolutely loved your statue, I-”

”No Pearl, you haven’t done anything wrong!” Bismuth ran up to her quickly. ”I’m just…”

”Just what?”

Bismuth seemed to choke.

”Eeeeeee….. Well, you know…. When we were on the beach this morning…. Were you…. Flirting with me?”

Oh.

”Wait, what is this what this is about? Wasn’t flirting exactly what we were doing? You literally created a splitting image of me in glass from!” Pearl said, slightly incredulous.

”I didn’t plan on doing that, I was… struck by sudden inspiration! And! I thought you were joking! I didn’t know you actually liked me!” Bismuth said shyly.

”Of course I do! What did you think we were doing that thousand-year period?” Pearl said affectionately.

”…man, I sure am daft. Anyway… Do you want to…. Go on a date with me?”

”Yes!” Pearl instantly shape-shifted into a different, nicer, date night outfit. ”Let’s go!”

 

-*-

 

With their superior gem-powered speed, they quickly arrived at the Fun Land Boardwalk. As Steven had said, it was Fun- For All Ages, so clearly several-thousand-year-old gems could/would have fun there.

”Woah!” Bismuth said, surely marveling at all the sights! The humans! The little boy(Funion?) who seemed to be stealing from the Arcade! Hey, maybe the Arcade was the best place to go first!

Pearl took charge by firmly grasping Bismuth’ arm and led her towards the Arcade. Once they were inside, she quickly walked past the car game that she still had serious beef with, and looked around.

”Bismuth, what do you want to try?”

”Maybe that thing? It looks like a strength test! You go first, Pearl!”

Pearl lifted the mallet that she was supposed to hit the strongman test with. She swung - and the machine broke in a million pieces.

”You know what they say, I’m strong in the real way!” Pearl said confidently.

Bismuth looked at her like she had hung the moon. Then they were hurriedly escorted(and banned) out of Fun Land by Mr. Simily. Drats…

 

-*-

 

Standing awkwardly outside of the boardwalk they had just been thrown out of, neither Pearl or Bismuth could think of what to do next. The silence was getting awkward. And long. But they were by the docks…

”Say, Bismuth, care to go for a swim?” Pearl suggested. ”The bottom of the sea must be beautiful here, it would be like an aquarium!”

Bismuth looked like she did not know what an aquarium was, but didn’t want to refuse the offer anyways. Which was basically a yes.

 When they had swum down to the bottom of the seafloor, they came across a colony of clams.

Bismuth pointed.”Look, Pearl! This clam has a pearl in it, it’s Pearl-fect! Just like you! Haha!”

Pearl clapped her hands excitedly in order to celebrate the excellent pun. Besides the clams, there was a lot to see on the seafloor. Like… hm. Pearl did not know much about sea life, so she couldn't really describe what she was seeing. But it was really pretty.

”You know, as much as this view is pretty, you’re prettier,” Pearl said.

”Thanks, buddy- I mean, uh, thank you, Pearl, my date!” Bismuth spat out. Then seemed to regret every decision she’d ever made in life, judging by her extremely defeated expression.

”Bismuth, it’s ok that you’re nervous. You don’t have to impress me, I already like you, remember.” Pearl said.

”Yeah?” Bismuth said, looking down.

”Yeah,” Pearl responded, holding Bismuth’s hand with her hands. It seemed like the perfect moment for a kiss, so Pearl went for it. Very slowly, of course, so that Bismuth could dodge if she wanted to. But she didn’t. It was… nice.

They made their way back into the house hand-in-hand.

 

-*-

 

While Pearl never slept, she did have a bed in her room in the temple for…reasons. She sat down on it and looked at Bismuth expectantly. Maybe they could cuddle a bit?

”So uh, yeah, uh, do you want to have… sex??” Bismuth said, sweating profusely yet again.

”YES!” Pearl tore her entire date outfit off in a single rip. She had been wearing all tear-away clothing today, for if just such an occasion would arise.

”So uh, yeah, how to do this, uh…” Bismuth fumbled with her pants. She didn’t seem to be succeeding.

”I can teach you, you know.” Pearl winked. And then ruined the moment’s potential seductiveness by doing finger guns. Bismuth giggled nervously.

”Bismuth, do you really want to do this? You seem extremely anxious.” Pearl commented as Bismuth fell over trying to get her pants off.

”What do you mean?” Bismuth almost-shouted from on the floor.

”Well, you did just fall over trying to get your pants off. We could just cuddle if you’re not comfortable having sex.”

Bismuth opened her mouth seemingly to protest but then nodded. All the tension seemed to leave her body at once. ”Ok. That sounds nice,” she said, more to the floor than anything. After a moment of Bismuth avoiding eye contact and just staring at her feet, Pearl realized why.

”Oh!” Pearl shapeshifted into her usual outfit. ”You can look now.” Bismuth, seemingly more comfortable, joined Pearl on the bed. She put her strong(still slightly shakey) arms around Pearl. It felt like home.

 

-*-

 

”This is nice,” Pearl said after a while. ”You know…. If what you’re worried about is ’stealing Roses’ girlfriend’, like I’ve said, I’ve moved from her. And, she’s… gone. Things are different now. I’ve changed. I’ll always love Rose, but you know. That part of my life is over.”

”Rose…” Bismuth seemed to stiffen up. ”She’s… really gone, isn’t she?”

”Yeah. But we have Steven now, he’s pretty great, isn’t he? He’s really coming into his own as a Crystal Gem an-” Bismuth started to move as if she was getting up. ”Hey, where are you going?” Pearl asked, confused. She thought that they were having a moment.

Bismuth, now standing up with her back turned on her, reached for her crumbled up pants.

  
”Uh, yeah, I jus-just have to talk to Steven about one thing. Don’t wait for me, I’ll… be back soon.” Why did it sound like Bismuth had a stuffy nose? Pearl reached for her, but Bismuth shrugged her hand off. Well, if she was gonna come back soon anyway, no use getting worried. Pearl could spend the time without her doing ballet on her water fountains, as usual.

”I’m just so happy you’re back, Bismuth.”

”…yeah. I am too.” Bismuth looked like she was just about to go, but something seemed to make her hesitate. She turned around slowly, and the expression that she wore made Pearl heartbroken.

”What’s going on?” Pearl asked. Whatever Bismuth had on her mind, it was something really tough.

”I… I.. Look, Pearl, are we completely sure that Rose is gone?”

Pearl finally thought she understood what was going on. She walked up to Bismuth slowly and embraced her softly. ”Yeah. I understand that it’s a lot to deal with, but yes. She is gone. And Steven… is not the same person. It did take some adjustment for me, for everyone, at first, but everything seems to work out fine somehow.”

”Yeah, yeah, that’s… exactly what I was thinking. Steven is not just Rose in a different form,  right?”

”No, no, we’re sure,” Pearl said wistfully.

”Huh…” Bismuth said. She was quiet for a long moment. ”Ok. That was… what I was gonna ask Steven anyway, but now I know, I don’t have to leave right now. Pearl…” Bismuth sighed and finally hugged Pearl back. She continued:

 ”I’m really glad to be back. I really am.”

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave me kudos and comments if you liked this lol


End file.
